seconds from disaster

i keep making more virtual fake identities and forgetting the passwords for them all before i even relog into anything..got caught pirating paranormal activity 3(that piece of crap!)and was scolded by my signif and now i gotta go search out a good bandwidth cos what else is there to do besides steal movies and keep up with celebrity gossip.

i asked someone to pray to jesus for me that i wouldn't havta sleep so much...cos its hard to be effective...and then behold 11 attention deficit medications fell unto me.  i wonder if that's what the second hand pray er had in mind but its whatever

we both like coke cola

i don't know if ive hit new career lows but i wonder where babysitting your weed dealers senile grandma stands for $9/hr

the only perk...we both like coke.   So it's like babysitting but with more similiar interests

take that Nostradamus

so i look up my horoscope for 5/11/2011...drugging day....first google hit..Venus, Mars and Mercury crowd into your shared resources center pointing the way to an exciting plot that stars you. With so much energy and creativity involved, maybe you should write the play yourself. It's sure to be a winner.

two.

People are hesitant to deal with deep emotional issues today. They're erecting protective barriers so the things they hear, see, and feel don't hurt them. Respect these boundaries. Do your best to stay rooted in your inner sanctuary. Try to keep a positive attitude even though the prevailing mood may be somber.

three

The Sun in Gemini (at almost 1 degree) squares Neptune in Pisces at 3:31 am Sunday morning (May 22). Most of us will be asleep, of course, so one interpretation is simply an active dream life. Another possibility is that people will wake up all fuzzy brained and this could last through their commutes, so be alert out there. Neptune in hard aspects to the Sun saps our energy and clouds our judgment. Best thing is to just relax by the pool, as Neptune is quite watery and having water nearby calms and restores us. 

Venus is conjunct Mars at 8 degrees Taurus at 4:25 am Monday. NOTE This is a critical degree. You never really know what is going to happen but pay attention to the news today because whatever enters the scene will be something significant: a company's public offering, a new player in global politics, etc. Venus-Mars conjunctions in natal charts give the native high energy; in a transiting chart it favors male-female relationships. In fact you may meet a lovely Other who brightens your life, but this aspect does not BY ITSELF guarantee any long-term quality to the match (although just the fact that it is in fixed-sign Taurus does tend to help it stick around a bit). This could be the start of something big, to quote the Steve Allen song. 

Venus in Taurus is inconjunct Saturn at 10 degrees Libra at 2:47 pm Tuesday. Time to revise one's budget to reduce expenditures yet again. Adapt to what is: the economy may be getting better but not very quickly, while inflation is on the prowl. And the usual spring gouge at the gas pumps is in progress as we speak, so people just have less disposable income. (This aspect was preceded by Mercury inconjunct Saturn on Monday morning. That was just to introduce some fresh data into the equation. It is then followed by Mars inconjunct Saturn, forcing us to take actions in accordance with our new budget, and to bend our wills to our new goals.)

The Sun in Gemini is inconjunct Pluto at 6 degrees Capricorn at 10:38 am Saturday, May 28. Now you really will be stared down by the seemingly unalterable Way Things Are in your life today, but at the same time you have an opportunity to reprogram yourself for a better future. You can only change yourself, when you come right down to it. You can design your own affirmations or look up the nifty stuff available online, or visit a practitioner who does GeoTrans or related kinesiology reprogramming. 

and come to find out the world was really supposted to end on this very day...im unsure if it has anything to do with my doomsday prophecy or just a coincidence but googles fill ins for 5222011 was:end of world, joplin mo tornado and ufo....so yea it was a wack day all around

one blew that way

i may have figured out this drowsy thing after all without using illegal narcotics or breaking ones budget.  i totally had to go to Toys R Us, if i was to go there during normal business hours on christmas eves eve.i woulda started sweating even before i got into the parking lot. those parents are crazy ya'll im just pickin up some squinkies...but its open all night

so by 11 itd have thinned out.at 9pm i take a single caffeine pill(equavently to 1 coffee) cos im fading fast.  and kinda need to stay up to purchase my holiday smoke as well...so it was double the reason to

 STAY AWAKE

anywhose  it total worked!i accomplished both objectives and am still awake!i mean ill prolly go to bed here right now after this but 1230am thats somethin alright.

it could only be a total buzzkill if i get scarier nightmares and/or sleepwalk off a cliff i guess

one blew this way

that five hour energy was a complete lie.  more like "30 minutes of pep and a poop"  after that failure i decided a trinity might be a better energy approach...Psuedoephedrine, Caffeine Pill, plus 30 minutes of pep and a poop...caught a lil jitter for maybe 45 minutes my heartrate never got above 80 and i still went to bed at 11, three hours after my tripod energy attempt.  How i miss the Stacker 3 days before ephedrine killed all those people; i was not one of them. sure my heart rate was 120 for 10 years and i could never sleep on my left side cos i could feel my heart thudding in my ear drums but whatever i think it proved to be a lifesaver.  those bath salts might have really thrown the ol cardic system into a uproar if not for that 2 year work out it got in the early 21st century.

maybe im chasin a dragon here.  maybe im looking for an alertness that i will never attain.  or if i did attain that level of awake...it would be on narcotics(pishposh) or a manic episode; which for the record i am NOT bipolar .  go ahead ask my psychiatrist with the tourettes i diagnosed...he prolly calles me "clinically depressed" or a "major depressive disorder" which sounds a bit more troubling.  Major Depressive Disorder means you sleep 12 hrs a night, take only antidepressants, nap 2 hrs a day while being apathetic to any sort of encounter modern life has to offer.

however even as a child i recall thinking "i cant wait till naptime"or "is it time for bed yet?" im just always tired.  and even though all my dreams appear to be nightmares i don't even care...i wake up sweating my ass off after being chased by zombies in a junior college where i failed to turn in assignment in....where the challenger is about to explode outside...so i wake up...and go right back to sleep in the hallways and elevators and tunnels and ladders where im running from negative judgment and mediocrity(the failed assignments and zombies?)

the space shuttle bit i have no idea..but i was in the second grade and we all went into the library to watch the lift off live.  Then it explodes and the teachers like "OKAY children line up" without acknowledging what we had seen.  And were all walking down the hallway single file back to class.

"Their all dead."im saying  "they all blew up"

And thats when the teacher grabs my arm and silences me before i could make all the other 7 year olds notice we had just witnessed death.

everythings impossible

i really am lacking in story topics.  grandmas kidney stones.my sisters moving to new york.im getting super good christmas gifts; thanks to my near death experience...SOLID. a laptop and a guitar.i might go missing more often.  ok thats prolly impossible now...i can't be unreachable for more than 15 minutes before alarm bells go off...i have a track phone that i forget to pay cos it doesn't remind me so for days at a time ill wonder why no ones talking to me before i remember to pay my phone bill.  i remember life before cell phones.  if you didn't feel like talking to someone you could just say you weren't home.

you call that a lindyhop

all boogie men have poor dental health its not just a stereotype!

another board game

well i forgot the remembrance of my mothers suicide...i was off by two days i suppose thats not too bad. not that theres a balloon release ceremony or anything its just the kick off to my holidays for the last 16 years...suicide.thanksgiving.christmas. needless to say its really put a damper on all the festivities...oh did i mention her birthday was on christmas too...her and jesus.anyways that really adds to the willingness to skip all holiday affairs...i could revel in the savings ive accrued not having to buy those 2 presents every year...hmm which  is prolly about 1600 to date but then id havta tally all those presents that i also missed out on

the final christmas my mother was alive(barely) she was too drugged to make it the shops so her drunk boyfriend gave me money and i shopped for my own gifts and my mother wrapped them...
i opened the sweatshirt i had purchased on christmas morning and my mother said "I knew youd love it when i picked it out!" and i said "Yea mom you did fantastic!"

men are terrible holiday shoppers...there was one year my father shopped and my sister and i received only board games...imagine our horror...kerplunk.sorry.operation.scatergories and were both sore losers. that was the last year my father shopped while my mother was still alive and usually shed go overboard like most women do...men never go overboard..i bet we got exactly 200 dollars worth of board games that year...exactly.

my sister and i just sat there starring at eachother that christmas of 1992 disgusted...if we had been able to see into the future and the disappointments that lay ahead...we may have looked into an intervention more seriously but prolly not cos drug addicts dont buy that great of gifts either

happily manic

so im doin a puzzle with a japanese theme...then goin to the movies.this is how normal people behave.however.i am going to the theater with someone i met in the mental hospital...i don't know if youre supposed to do that anyways shes really not that crazy just the most depressed person you could ever imagine...you almost slit your wrist by proxy when youre in the room with her...downer.

anyways shes been relatively upbeat for a few days and she keeps sayin "im manic" and i then i say "youre just not suicidal"

then shell say she self harmed last week. whatever you cant win em all

its been six months and thirty pounds...1 sedative, 35 anti psychotics and 240 antidepressants...enumerable awkward social encounters that can only be remedied with an out of state move or discontinuing speaking to anyone i ever met.

but theres no where to go when nothing is exciting...i only have one fear.that i will always feel this way.

balderdash ya'll

thats a synonym for nonsense.

still no word from the onion regarding the notion my fauxnews stories are pure genius. balderdash schmalderdash....theyre at least above average bitches

on yr marks

thanks to dvr i now know how long im gone evertime i pause the tv...to get a jump on the commercials later.  why do this you ask...i skip 20 min outta every hour.and i can even quantify these rituals!an average shit takes 6min while makin a cup of coffee and petting the dog takes 2min.it takes 4 min to smoke outside.and on average "wandering" consumes the rest.

Armageddon sales are up

i googled "apocalypse apparel" cos i was lookin for shit to wear for the rapture...you know like 1 baja sweater, 1 carnhart jacket, 1 jesus sandal, 1 visor, 1 beanie....etc etc...anyways its a fn brand and i found no actual apparel suiting the end of times situation.hipster crap

im prolly just gonna wing it...like on top ill prolly do a bikini top/wifebeater/underarmor/baha sweater/colombia jacket eww then.maybe i could top off the hobo apocalypse getup by using my blanket as a shawl and a blanket!.shit i got this on lock

i could write 10 of these a day

Sex Toy Dissapoints
Flagstaff, AZ  A masturbater was disappointed with the function and longevity with the overhyped

and another

Minneapolis MN "Uncool" Dad embarrasses teenage daughter at Mall of America

paralyzed man wants robot legs

i wonder if everyone is convinced they could write for the onion?cos i really think i could...

paralyzed man hopes to be first to have robot legs

beauty school drop in

i googled 80s wigga hairstyles...cos i was thinking bout poppin n2 the beauty school for a makeover.and this is what came up

george glass

its not that i hate everyone...im prolly coming off like that but its not it at all.i can imagine if someone i was close to made me think they were gone(physically or mentally) for 5 to 10 days...even if they werent the cause of

1 armed man

proclaiming your innocence really loses its gusto rather quickly.  id always wondered why those people wrongly accused of murder just sat stoically in the courtroom.expressionless.."id be pounding the table if that was me" i always said.

yr lid is flipped

my new years resolution for 2011 was to come off less deathwishy ....and i prolly do.