proclaiming your innocence really loses its gusto rather quickly. id always wondered why those people wrongly accused of murder just sat stoically in the courtroom.expressionless.."id be pounding the table if that was me" i always said.
but no really you wouldn't. answering the same questions repeatedly and having these answers be met with disbelief...from your friends and family...its so disheartening that after the fourth or fifth essay style answer i tell everyone to fuck off and go hang out with that bald gay unstylish child molesting motherfucker if you want.
the juxtaposition is that not only did a close friend intentionally try to murder me but everyone believes me so little that even my sister is still his virtual friend...actually 10 of my virtual friends are his virtual friends. and i don't really care i guess. that he gets away with everything and i get to be psychotic.
the looks in the faces and the tones in peoples voices once they dubbed me crazy really kinda ruined all relationships for eternity anyways. its as if suddenly everyone feels more superior than you. and when they talk to you...they talk to you like a child and look at you with pity and disgust...waiting for your next "breakdown".if i was distant before.
im completely remote now going through the motions...just fat and tired from all the antidepressants...saying whatever anyone wants to hear.
1 comment:
okay maybe all my relationships werent ruined for eternity...several months to a year prolly
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