happily manic

so im doin a puzzle with a japanese theme...then goin to the movies.this is how normal people behave.however.i am going to the theater with someone i met in the mental hospital...i don't know if youre supposed to do that anyways shes really not that crazy just the most depressed person you could ever imagine...you almost slit your wrist by proxy when youre in the room with her...downer.

anyways shes been relatively upbeat for a few days and she keeps sayin "im manic" and i then i say "youre just not suicidal"

then shell say she self harmed last week. whatever you cant win em all

its been six months and thirty pounds...1 sedative, 35 anti psychotics and 240 antidepressants...enumerable awkward social encounters that can only be remedied with an out of state move or discontinuing speaking to anyone i ever met.

but theres no where to go when nothing is exciting...i only have one fear.that i will always feel this way.

balderdash ya'll

thats a synonym for nonsense.

still no word from the onion regarding the notion my fauxnews stories are pure genius. balderdash schmalderdash....theyre at least above average bitches

on yr marks

thanks to dvr i now know how long im gone evertime i pause the tv...to get a jump on the commercials later.  why do this you ask...i skip 20 min outta every hour.and i can even quantify these rituals!an average shit takes 6min while makin a cup of coffee and petting the dog takes 2min.it takes 4 min to smoke outside.and on average "wandering" consumes the rest.

Armageddon sales are up

i googled "apocalypse apparel" cos i was lookin for shit to wear for the rapture...you know like 1 baja sweater, 1 carnhart jacket, 1 jesus sandal, 1 visor, 1 beanie....etc etc...anyways its a fn brand and i found no actual apparel suiting the end of times situation.hipster crap

im prolly just gonna wing it...like on top ill prolly do a bikini top/wifebeater/underarmor/baha sweater/colombia jacket eww then.maybe i could top off the hobo apocalypse getup by using my blanket as a shawl and a blanket!.shit i got this on lock

i could write 10 of these a day

Sex Toy Dissapoints
Flagstaff, AZ  A masturbater was disappointed with the function and longevity with the overhyped

and another

Minneapolis MN "Uncool" Dad embarrasses teenage daughter at Mall of America

paralyzed man wants robot legs

i wonder if everyone is convinced they could write for the onion?cos i really think i could...

paralyzed man hopes to be first to have robot legs

beauty school drop in

i googled 80s wigga hairstyles...cos i was thinking bout poppin n2 the beauty school for a makeover.and this is what came up

george glass

its not that i hate everyone...im prolly coming off like that but its not it at all.i can imagine if someone i was close to made me think they were gone(physically or mentally) for 5 to 10 days...even if they werent the cause of

1 armed man

proclaiming your innocence really loses its gusto rather quickly.  id always wondered why those people wrongly accused of murder just sat stoically in the courtroom.expressionless.."id be pounding the table if that was me" i always said.

yr lid is flipped

my new years resolution for 2011 was to come off less deathwishy ....and i prolly do.

should all heart to hearts end in violence

on a lighter note i keep coughing up these little white balls (sometimes they resemble oatmeal) anyways if you

levity

whats the opposite of inspirational?anyways i suppose id b stoked if this doesn't inspire anyone but acts as a somewhat readable deterrent for anyone who thought about perhaps doin the bath salts...and hopefully you will

The crowded theater

ive pushed the 1st amendment to the edge of existence.

a creepy mugshot always adds a little shezam

cumbersome

i wonder if its hatred or disgust i'm reading in peoples faces?  perhaps its both mixed with a little apprehension.

reality in a Halloween costume

waking up after sleepwalking for 120 hours was kinda pronounced.  its a knee hug wall slide combo followed with sobs in the bathroom of the mental hospital(the one you went to sleep in) at 6am  Alone and confused

yikes i have a muffin top

im pretty sure i remember saying "Im a biological weapon!" and thinking it was true

so sew buttons

ill never forget September 12, 2001. I bought a haro bicycle in Pennsylvania cos i was gonna really hurt myself skateboarding(Its harder than it looks).

My psychiatrist has tourettes. i spend 6 minutes of my 15 minute sessions staring out the window while he contorts his face and machine fire blinks.  The East Saint Louis skyline mocking all my failures.

"I guess it's hopeless" I say, starring at hollowed out shells of buildings. "Or i'll be hopeless for the next 6 months to a year, i mean"   backpeddling so i don't get reinvoluntarily commited.

"Are you having suicidal thoughts?" DR. Blinks then asks.  Dammit i should have known never to use the words hopeless or pointless or over it among medical proffesionals. Also never start yelling "I want a lawyer!" in the emergency room. after yelling "I want a divorce!"...totally frowned upon.

"Not really...its just brain chemistry right?"   Scientifically speaking all my dopamine for several years was depleted in a five day period and what the fuck i forget most of it.  How did good feelings make me do such bad things?  Maybe i felt empowered. cos right now i could masturbate on a roller coaster while gambling and huffing paint and it all would feel weak, tired, and useless.  nothing feels good.  i eat lots of cookies.

I was just as bad at freestyle biking as i was at skateboarding.  The only advantage to the bike was the brakes.  I learned one and half tricks but If one would have taken a still picture on those vacant parking lot tours of 2001... id prolly have looked pretty rad.